Blair Donovan was a digital producer and SEO writer at Brides from 2017 to 2019. She is currently the shopping editor of style at Apartment Therapy Media.
Brides's Editorial Guidelines
Updated on 10/23/23 09:10AM
Once upon a time, mothers of the bride were expected to wear matronly dresses in Easter-egg pastels or washed-out shades of beige. Thankfully, that's in the past, and moms are now able to freely express their sartorial sensibilities on their child's big day. But with more freedom comes a little more confusion, and determining what the mother of the bride should wear can oftentimes get a bit overwhelming.
Not to worry, though, as we asked a fashion expert to provide a few pointers for making this process as seamless as possible. Whether you're a bride who's hoping to help your mom find the perfect look or the matriarch of the family, we've got the who, what, when, where, and how of mother-of-the-bride attire. Read on below for all the expert tips, and don't forget to take notes!
Meet the Expert
Shea Jensen is a fashion expert with over 30 years of experience in the men's and women's apparel industry.
43 Emotional Mother-of-the-Bride Photos
Tips for Selecting a Mother-of-the-Bride Look
If you take away only one tip, let it be this one: Follow the bride's cues about style, color, and degree of formality. It's the couple's job to set the tone for the event—whether that means a casual country wedding complete with cowboy boots or a formal black-tie affair—so if you're a mom who's currently searching for an ensemble, ask your daughter for some guidelines and follow suit. After that, the rest lies in the details, as highlighted below.
Complement the Wedding Party
Traditionally, the mother of the bride's gown should complement (but not match) the color of the wedding party's attire. That's why fashion expert Shea Jensen shares that mothers of the bride should wait until their daughters have chosen their bridesmaids' dresses before heading to the mall. For instance, if the bridal party is wearing black co*cktail dresses, as the mom, you might want to choose something in silver or grey. Or, if the bridesmaids are wearing cobalt blue, a navy dress would pair perfectly.
Take Cues from the Venue
While almost anything goes for mother-of-the-bride attire—so long as the bride approves—it is important to follow certain cues dictated by the venue. For example, it's probably best to wear a strapless dress to a beach ceremony rather than a church wedding. Simply put, take the weather and cultural or religious customs into account when finding a mother-of-the-bride outfit, and always look for something that is elegant, understated, and appropriate.
Plan Ahead and Communicate Your Choice
According to Jensen, moms should start searching for a dress no later than three months before the big day, as this will allow time for special orders and alterations. What's more, since it's customary for the mother of the bride to buy her dress first, and then share her choice with the mother of the groom, planning ahead will ensure that everyone has time to coordinate their looks.
The mothers' dresses don't have to match (unless that's what the bride wants), but they should complement each other.
Don't Forget the Glam
While there aren't any special rules for mother-of-the-bride glam, moms should try and stick with a look that is elegant, understated, and appropriate. As for where to get ready, if the bride prefers to get glammed up with just the bridesmaids, don't get offended. As the mother of the bride, you can invite the mother of the groom or other family members to get glammed up before the ceremony, or relish the rare moment of quiet and plan to slip off on your own. Just make sure that you do plan to get your hair and makeup done—whether by a professional or trusted friend. Too often, mothers overlook themselves in favor of their children. Remember, it's your special day, too!
The 13 Best Places to Buy Stylish Mother-of-the-Bride Dresses
Typically the Mother of the Bride's dress should complement the bridal party's color palette. Not necessarily match with the bridesmaids, but choose a color in the color family. The most popular color for the mother of the bride to wear is navy or a royal blue, followed by blush or a shade of nude.
These days, virtually anything goes—formal gown, short or long dress, skirt-and-jacket ensemble—so long as it matches the style of the wedding. Brides can be very helpful by encouraging "the moms" to work together in choosing their outfits.
As a general rule, the mother of the bride should shy away from choosing the same colour dress as bridesmaids. However, it should still compliment the style of the bridesmaid's dresses. It can be a different style from theirs, but the hues should feel cohesive.
Try purples, greys, and neutrals such as eggplant, graphite, black, or navy. Mum can feel comfortable indulging in this rich and regal palette. The beautiful thing about a purple bridal party: A variety of shades look good together. Consider what you'll be most comfortable wearing for a full day of celebrating!
The MOTB can wear any color she wants, but it's better to avoid certain colors such as white, ivory, or champagne tones as they're considered bridal colors and may take attention away from the bride.
DOES THE MOTHER OF THE BRIDE HAVE TO WEAR A LONG DRESS? The length of the dress is entirely up to you. Some mothers of the bride and groom choose to wear dresses of similar length to create a more harmonious look.
A lot of times they (the mother, and father) will give the couple money to help start off buying a home or to go towards their honeymoon. A gift from the mother of the bride to her daughter is a lovely tradition. Usually the gift is something symbolic, or a family keepsake or heirloom.
If the mother of the bride is taking part in the wedding processional, she is traditionally escorted by a close male relative like a son or brother or may enter alone. If the parents are divorced, she may be escorted by her partner. In some cases, a groomsman or best man will escort her down the aisle.
Yes, it's traditional for the parents of the bride to give her a gift on her wedding day, such as jewelry, money, or something sentimental. This is a way for parents to show their love and wish her well as she starts her new life.
It's the mother of the bride's responsibility to greet all the guests she knows, and introduce herself to those she doesn't. The MOB should be part of the receiving line (if the couple is having one), and if not, she should go table to table to say hello to guests and thank them for attending.
Many brides give their mom a personal, sentimental gift at some point before or after the ceremony as a token of their appreciation. All in all, it's a nice way to thank her for everything she's done for your special day—financially, emotionally or otherwise.
Traditionally, the bride's family assumed most of the financial costs associated with a wedding, including the wedding planner, invitations, dress, ceremony, reception, flowers, photography, and music.
Dark florals in heavy fabrics can be worn during the cold weather months, while light, pastel florals in chiffon and similar breezy fabrics tend to work best during the spring and summer. If you're the mother of the bride or groom, you should certainly considering wearing a floral dress to the big day.
Because the mother of the groom isn't part of the bridal party, she should avoid choosing a dress in the same color as the bridesmaids' attire, the mother of the bride's dress, or the wedding gown.
To augment the distinction, you can choose different accessories. It's best to stay away from white or any shade matching the dress of the bride unless you have her explicit consent. The good news is that MOB and MOG dresses are not relegated to the realm of boring colors any more.
While mother-of-the-bride dresses are similar to mother-of-the-groom dresses, the moms don't need to match. Both are encouraged to wear outfits that represent their personal style. If the couple does prefer to have the moms wear complementary outfits, try to find colors or silhouettes that look great together.
Knee-length dresses are perfect for more casual weddings, while midi-length dresses are a great choice for more formal events. For evening weddings, floor length mother of the bride gowns are the most traditional and formal option. These gowns exude elegance and sophistication, and are perfect for black-tie affairs.
To ensure that your moms don't show up in identical or clashing dresses, it's a smart idea for your mothers to coordinate their looks. Sure, it's not essential that they talk dresses before the big day, but it can make a big difference in how your wedding photos look if they do.
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